Finding Out I’m BRCA2 Positive: The Moment Everything Changed

Discovering that I carry the brca2 gene mutation was shocking — and completely accidental. I had impulsively decided to participate in a genetic study, mostly out of curiosity. With no family history of cancer, I assumed it would simply confirm that I didn’t have any cancer-causing genes. I thought I was buying myself peace of mind.

I hesitated before enrolling, wondering if the results would just add more anxiety to a life already full of it. But ultimately, I convinced myself that information was power — that knowing what to look for was better than blindly hoping for the best. And even if something did show up, surely it would be low-risk. After all, no one in my family had ever had cancer.

When I got the results of my study, I was shocked. It wasn’t just an increase in the potential for breast cancer. With stats that 55-69% of brca2 gene mutation carriers develop breast cancer at some point in their life, it felt like I just received a cancer diagnosis.

And it wasn’t just a significantly increased chance for breast cancer. It was an increased chance for ovarian cancer. And for pancreatic cancer. And for skin cancer.

The more the gene counselor talked, the dizzier I felt. It was like finding out you have a bomb and it’s probably going to go off at some point. But maybe not. So, chat with your new oncologist in a few months.

What? I now have an oncologist? A cancer doctor. I have a cancer doctor.

All I could do the first couple of days was cry. Cry at how unfair it was. Cry at the future that I had planned that felt like it was ripped away from me. Cry that my kids now have a 50/50 chance of also having a brca2 gene mutation. And cry at the thought of battling cancer.

And the reality is that nothing had actually physically changed in those few days. I just had knowledge. Knowledge that was really painful to have. But knowledge that means I have expanded resources to help me navigate what’s to come.

When your genes share a plot twist like this, it’s so incredible scary. It feels like a nightmare that I can’t believe I’m still in.

— The Girl Who Didn’t See It Coming